One of the most exciting and daunting parts of having a baby is that first week you bring them home. Whether it’s your first child or your fourth child, it’s a learning process, transitioning your newest little one into your world and family life. You get to know your little one and they get to know you. Learn how to survive your first week while keeping your sanity.

Remember: It’s A Learning Process

One of the most important things to remember when you first bring your baby home is that everything you do from here on will be a learning process. Even if you’re an experienced parent, your new baby could be completely different from your previous children and respond completely different as well. You have to learn their individual personality and needs.

Also remember, some of your go-to tactics to get baby to stop crying, get baby to sleep or comfort baby may not work like they did with your other children. You have to be flexible and learn to adapt to make sure your new baby has everything it needs.

Getting To Know Your Baby’s Cues

One of the most important things you’ll need to learn is your baby’s cues. Instinctually, your baby will tell you what it needs, including when it’s hungry, when it’s upset, or when it’s diaper needs to be changed and the sooner you learn these cues, the easier and less stressful your life will be.

In the first few days especially, get to know your baby. Listen to the difference in their cries, learn that when they put their fingers in their mouth or root, that they are showing you they’re hungry. This is monumentally important if you choose to breastfeed, because the first week of your baby’s life is when you really establish nursing with your baby. Remember, it is a natural process, but it can feel anything but natural at first and you both have to spend time getting good at it together. If you choose not to breastfeed, your baby’s first week is still vitally important  to clear out their system and help them start digesting things on their own.

Establishing A Routine

This is another very important step that can make all the difference in maintaining your sanity during your baby’s first days, weeks, and months. Now many people have varying opinions on this topic, but bare with me. All I can tell you is what works for our family.

With my first son, within a week or two we had an excellent established routine. His feeding schedule was every 3 hours on the dot and his nap and sleep schedule was almost just as consistent. This allowed me to plan my day accordingly, including taking time to take a shower and get myself ready, workout (once I was cleared), and eat or get dinner ready toward the end of the day. These are the things that seem trivial but trust me, when you have days where you feel like a zombie mom, these are the small tasks that can just make you feel normal again.

It was a little bit easier to get my first son on an established eating schedule because we just maintained the 3 hour routine we left the hospital with, but I did exclusively pump for my him, so I knew exactly how much milk he was getting and could follow a tight schedule because of it.

With my second son, the experience has been a little different. He’s great at breastfeeding and I’m so much more relaxed and glad that we can both actually enjoy the experience (not to mention saving tons of time without having to pump and tons of money without having to buy formula). But because of everything we experienced during the first few weeks of having my first son (which you can read about here), we were determined to get him breastfeeding successfully and get his weight up right away.

So with this scenario in mind, I’ve tried to keep him on somewhat of a 3 hour schedule, but I also break this schedule quite often. In other words, I do wake him up to eat every 3 hours during the day and every 4 hours at night if he doesn’t already wake up on his own, but if he wants to eat every 2 hours or even every hour during the day, I let him. Once we are both well established with our nursing routine, I may try to get him to stick to a more regular schedule. Exclusively breastfeeding is a new experience for me so we’ll play it by ear and see how it goes.

Focus On Week 1 Milestones

Even though you’re exhausted and may still be getting used to this whole parenting thing, watching and tracking your baby’s week 1 milestones is crucial because it ensures the health of your baby. After the experience we had going back to the hospital with our first son, we wanted to make sure we were very careful to count how many times our second son eats, pees, and poops, watch how content he looks, or how much he cries and whether we can console him. In other words, we wanted to make sure he was getting enough to eat.

This can be tricky when you’re breastfeeding because you can’t necessarily just set aside a certain amount of milk and measure how much your baby drinks how often. Your biggest things to watch are how many times they pee, how many times they poop, and whether they look content after they eat for long enough to sleep at least an hour between feedings. (Yes, the hour rule can vary, and may not happen between every feeding, but your baby should be getting full enough after a few days to be able to sleep for awhile before they need to eat again).

Generally, doctors will tell you that by day 5, your baby should be peeing at least 6 times a day, and pooping at least 3 times a day. It really helps to start your baby in Pampers Swaddlers diapers because they have a yellow stripe on the front of the diaper that turns blue when they pee. This can be really helpful to determine how many times they go a day, especially when they may not go a lot and you may not be able to tell otherwise.

If you’re not hitting those milestones, make sure you talk to your doctor or pediatrician right away because when it comes to their first week, how much they eat can change their entire health dramatically even within a few hours. Trust me, you don’t want to get stuck on the downward spiral we did. You can always ask and if they’re not concerned about it, they’ll let you know.

Another thing to watch is how content your baby seems after they eat. This can be right after they eat to about a half hour after they eat. If you feel like you’re always feeding them (especially if you’re breastfeeding) and they cry and can’t be consoled between feedings, they may not be getting enough milk.

As I touched on earlier, when my husband and I were in the hospital with our second son, he latched really well at first and seemed really content and slept well the first day. But, by the afternoon of day two, he was starting to get fussy, even after eating and wanted to eat within a half hour of nursing more than once. At one point, we wondered if my body could run out of colostrum (the earliest form of breastmilk) before my milk came in. After talking to our doctor, we learned that your body doesn’t run out of colostrum, you just don’t produce as much of it as you do breastmilk. So while the colostrum was providing everything our baby needed nutritionally, he may have just wanted a little more to fill his belly.

So as his parents, we made the decision to supplement. We are firm believers that breastmilk is ideal, but above all, making sure your baby has enough food is the top priority. We didn’t want him to get stuck with the same problem we had with our first one though, so instead of giving him a bottle to supplement, we used a supplemental feeder. This is a small bottle that is attached to a tiny rubber tube and you fill the bottle with breastmilk or formula, attach it to your shirt or something above you, and run the tube along the side of your nipple so that when your baby is nursing, you can make sure they are getting something without knowing whether you are producing anything. (Hint hint: Ask your hospital before purchasing one. We had one from our first son, but I asked if they had one because I wanted to use a new tube to make sure it was sterile and they ended up giving us a brand new one for free!)

We couldn’t believe how much more content he looked after just two feedings. So we decided to continue supplementing until I knew my milk had come in and that he was getting enough to eat. The best part is that we were right. We only had to use the feeder for a few days until my milk came in and we could go back to just breastfeeding exclusively. The key here is that it doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing approach. If you have to use a few tricks to get you started on a healthy breastfeeding journey, by all means, use them! As long as you’re determined and consistent, you can use these tools to get you where you want to be and eventually not need them.

After doing this, our son met all of his goals and when we ended up back at the doctors for a weight check, he had gained 6 ounces his first week! That’s what I like to call a success!

You’re The Boss

My last piece of advice for surviving your first week home with baby is to remember that you’re the boss. You and your significant other are in charge when it comes to your new baby and everyone that comes in contact with your baby should respect that. Yes, there are doctors and nurses that may know a little better when it comes to your baby’s health concerns, but you have instincts, so USE THEM! If something doesn’t look right or feel right when it comes to your baby, let them know and don’t give up until you get the answers you want.

Being the boss also applies to your family and friends. This is your baby and the decisions and rules that you establish from the beginning are going to affect you and your baby above everyone else. So if you don’t want a bunch of people at your house as soon as you bring baby home, tell them that. If you want people to use hand sanitizer before they hold your baby, make sure they do. If you need some time before getting visitors to establish your new routine or breastfeeding, or sleep schedule, then make the decision and then enforce it! You know what’s best for your and your family and your friends and family should respect your decisions and obey your rules because it’s about what’s best for your baby.